Is it a good idea to change careers in this economy?

A reader writes:

"I'm a 33 year old man who works part time as a nurse assistant, at this point I am not happy with what I am doing. By working at the hospital one thing I know is I don't want to pursue a career in nursing. So I thought about things and looking into schools and decided to get a degree in computer science online, which some of my credits from a previous college should transfer over. My question is this the right direction for me at this age and is this a good career choice at this economic crisis?"

I can't really tell you if this is the right direction for you or not--no one can, really--but there are a few things to keep in mind when contemplating a big change like this:

Will you be happy? Think about what makes you happy and what you're good at, career-wise. Do you enjoy solving puzzle, hands on work, and working with technology? These might be good cues as to whether computer science is a good match for you or not.

What would make you miserable? On the hand, thinking about the things that make you dislike nursing can be helpful in pinpointing careers you should avoid. For example, if you hate dealing with patients as a nurse assistant, computer science jobs that require interacting with customers might not be a good fit for you, but a position that didn't require customer interaction might work for you. 

Do your research. Look at the requirements for the types of jobs that you want after completing a computer science program and use that as a gauge to help you figure out if this is a good choice for you. Doing so will also give you a sense of what jobs are available in your area. 

Get experience. When you are thinkiing about changing careers, getting experience related to the new career can be enormously valuable in helping you make good decisions. You can get related experience by volunteering or finding a new job that doesn't require a degree. 

Where you are now? When contemplating such a big change, it is easy to think about where you want to be, but it is very important to think about your current circumstances. Can you truly afford to go back to school and possibly take on my student debt? Can your afford to give up your current income? What obligations do you have that will not be changed by your choice? And what about the obligations that will be changed? You need to get really clear on what makes the most sense for you given where you are now.

Again, no one can really tell you if this is the right choice for you or not. But, by keeping the above in mind you can make a more educated decision about your next step in life. Good luck!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

How to deal with professors who hate you, part II

After reading the previous post "How to deal with professors who hate you," a reader writes:

"How do you handle the situation of being cornered in a room with the professor, then they begin yelling and screaming at you? In my case she continues to make me cry, and talking doesn’t seem to help. I have talked many time with this professor only to think the problem is solved. When returning to class again she does the same things, always singling me out. There seems to be no end to whatever this professor's problem is. I refuse to quit and I have only one semester to go before I graduate, so it is either try and make amends or have a nervous breakdown, which is not a option. I willing to try anything at this point."

Wow. I am so sorry to hear you are in this situation--a situation no student should ever be put in. What your professor is doing is totally inappropriate on so many different levels and nothing should excuse such behavior. This professor has also forfeited the right to "make amends" and I feel that you need to escalate this situation by reporting the professor.

Because this is an extreme case, you must, repeat MUST, do these things immediately to protect yourself:

First off, if you feel you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, please get help to deal with those feelings as soon as possible. Try to reduce any stress in your life. Look for both on- and off-campus resources.

Next, avoid this professor as best you can. If you absolutely have to interact with the professor, do not go alone. Bring a friend with you.

You must absolutely tell someone, like a trusted advisor, a higher-ranking faculty member, or someone in the dean's office. As I've said before, sharing your side of the story is a good way to protect yourself. When you tell that someone, make sure you discuss what you have done to try to remedy the situation and that it has been an ongoing problem. Be specific about the ways the professor makes you uncomfortable.

Definitely figure out what your rights and responsibilities are concerning professor conduct and what your next steps should be. Find out if there is a formal complaint process, a student advocate, review board, or ombudsman at your campus. Then you should engage that process and make it official.

Consider talking to your classmates about this too. Chances are that a professor who behaves so inappropriately with one student also behaves poorly with other students. It even sounds like this may be happening openly in the classroom, in full view of other students. If that is the case, I bet other students feel really uncomfortable with this professor too. There can be power in numbers if multiple students are joining your grievance. It also helps to have a support network in place to help you along in this process.

If you are not comfortable taking this most extreme step, honestly, I can't see any other viable option. As you've mentioned, talking to this professor doesn't work, which is what necessitates this extreme step in my opinion.

Again, I'm really sorry to hear about this. I really hope this works out for you! You should never have been placed in this situation in the first place.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Improve your body image

First generation and low income college students are more likely to be women and/or people of color. As a member of all of these communities, I know that body image issues are certainly present in each.

With all the stress that can come with college life, worrying about how you feel in your own skin just adds to it. A negative body image can impact your academics, relationships, and general well-being.

Photo credit: http://www.adiosbarbie.com/

To help you deal, here are 5 tips to help you find your inner and outer beauty and improve your body image:

Look on campus. Your college campus probably has more services and resources than you know about. Many college campuses, especially those with women's centers, have programs and services designed to help you build a positive body image. Check out a book from the library about it and read up.

Break the cycle. A lot of the time, the same influences time and time again are making you feel badly about your appearance, like comments from family and images in the media. When something like that happens, do something about it immediately. For example, if your mom makes an unsolicited comment about your weight, tell her that she is hurting you and not helping you.

Look at the real you. Get naked and look at yourself in the mirror. What are your best features? As you look at your body, compliment something about your appearance. This is a form of positive self-talk. If you really don't see anything good about yourself, follow the next step...

Talk to someone. Health services at your college can often help you make a plan to get healthier or offer mental health services to help you feel better about your body. It can be helpful to talk to someone that is not part of your circle.

Get inspired. Look for and participate in displays of positive body image. Submit your picture to You're Beautiful, Dammit. Check out organizations like National Organization for Women (NOW) Foundation and their Love Your Body: On Campus, In Community campaign. There are blogs,  groups, and organizations out there that aim to help you build a positive self-image.

Help someone else. Try paying someone else a compliment about his or her appearance, just keep it sincere and appropriate (you don't want to be creepy!). Paying attention to the beautiful things of someone else and helping support that person's positive body image can help move you to seeing yourself in a more positive light.

You are awesome no matter what your shape and size, so I hope these tips help you to remember that.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

How do I stop feeling stressed and homesick?

A reader writes:

"I have just moved to a new town. It is not far away from were i used to live, but all my extended family live there. Sometimes at night i just want to be back their with all my cousins and my Grandparents and everyone. Starting a new school is so hard, and it makes it worse that this is my first time moving schools. Now, at a different school i feel more stressed than ever with: finding new friends, fitting in school work, doing tests and just fitting in with a new and much bigger school!! how do i stop feeling stressed and homesick?"

You are dealing with issues plenty of first generation and low income college students face. In fact, these are both issues we've talked about before, so check out these older posts for some guidance:

How can I stop feeling homesick?
Dealing with stress

Also, it sounds like your homesickness and stress are feeding off of each other, like when you feel more homesick you also feel more stressed out and vise versa. Try to think of them as two different issues, that you will address in different ways. Eventually, as one lessens, the other will too.

You can also try thinking about the ways you would relive stress when you were at home with your family and see if you can incorporate some of those things into your school life away from your family. For example, if you used to play sports with your cousins to relieve stress, try joining an intramural or informal sports team on campus.

You should also to talk to your family about your homesickness and making a transition to a new school. Getting your family on board and making sure they understand what you are going through will help ease the transition. And don't forget to ask them about their transition with you away from home too!

I hope you can feel better and less stressed away from home. Take care.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Change your mindset

When things aren't going 100% your way, it is pretty easy to dwell on everything that currently sucks. You know, like the phrase "when it rains, it pours." As a first generation or low income college student it can be dangerous to be so negative.

But, you might be surprised by the power of positive thinking. Instead of focusing on all the bad things, changing your mindset can benefit you in a number of ways. Here are a few things you get from staying positive, even in the face of suckiness:

You are awesome. When you choose to focus on the positive rather than the negative, it actually boost your self-esteem and reduces any lingering self-doubt that might cause you to stay in a funk.

It's a cycle. When you are negative, you actually invite negative things to happen to you. You create a self-fulfilling prophesy of suck. So, when you are positive, you invite positive things to happen to you. Wouldn't you rather create a self-fulfilling prophesy of awesome by thinking of the silver lining?Yeah, that's what I thought.

You can do it. When you stay more upbeat instead of negative, it makes you more productive. Getting things done will in turn make you want to do more things.

Making the grade. When you're more productive and happier in general, this impacts academic performance for the good. A positive mindset will make you a better student.

I hope you can change your mindset today and have a great day of academic achievement with your positive attitude. 

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Have high expectations for yourself

This is a short one, just to help boost your self-esteem mid-semester:

High expectations from others like professors and advisors have a positive impact on the success of first generation and low income college student. So does holding yourself to high expectations.When you expect yourself to succeed, it often gives you the mental and emotional boost to achieve your goals.

Don't underestimate yourself and your ability to succeed as a college student. You deserve to be in college and have earned it. Have a great day of academic achievement!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

How can I stop feeling homesick?

A reader writes:

"I'm homesick and it's only my second week back in the dorms! I have friends here and I have plenty to do (and will have plenty of work this semester) but now when it's quiet and I'm just browsing the internet, I just wish I was back at home. It's even worse than the beginning of the school year and I don't know why. How can I stop feeling so homesick?"

Feeling homesick is a natural part of being away from the family, friends, and community you are used to and many first generation and low income college students feel the pangs of homesickness at some point. Here are a few ways you can help reduce feeling homesick:

Change your mindset. When you're missing home, it is really easy to think of all the things you are leaving behind, but don't give in to this impulse. Instead, think of what you're gaining instead of what you're missing.

Make plans. Try to keep your mind on the future instead of lingering to the past by making plans to hang out with friends. Also, consider getting involved with a student club or organization or volunteering in addition to quality time with your friends.

Talk to someone. Sharing your feelings of homesickness with a friend, advisor, or professional counselor is another way you can help reduce those feelings. Remember, you're not crazy if you seek out professional help.

Keep in touch. Of course, you should stay in contact with your friends and family, but not too much. Being in constant communication with home will actually intensify your homesickness, so limit yourself. If you find yourself getting really emotional during or after phone calls, try sticking to texts and emails instead.

Decorate your space. Making your surroundings as comfortable, welcoming, and personal as possible can go a long way in helping you feel at home in your new space.

These tips can help you start feeling better about being away from home!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

How do I stop feeling stressed and homesick?

A reader writes:

"I have just moved to a new town. It is not far away from were i used to live, but all my extended family live there. Sometimes at night i just want to be back their with all my cousins and my Grandparents and everyone. Starting a new school is so hard, and it makes it worse that this is my first time moving schools. Now, at a different school i feel more stressed than ever with: finding new friends, fitting in school work, doing tests and just fitting in with a new and much bigger school!! how do i stop feeling stressed and homesick?"

You are dealing with issues plenty of first generation and low income college students face. We've talked about dealing with stress and homesickness before, so please check out these older posts for some guidance:

How can I stop feeling homesick?
Dealing with stress

Also, when you move from a smaller school to a larger one, it can be kind of intimidating. To help with that you can try to find that smaller school feeling at a bigger school by joining a campus group or organization. Having a smaller group of people to relate to can make a big difference as you adjust to a new environment. 

I hope you can feel better and less stressed away from home.You're not the only one feeling this way!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Grieving losses

A reader recently asked about getting an extension for an assignment after the death of a family member.Sadly, death of a friend or loved one is probably something you will have to face as a college student.

Photo credit: http://brownswissmomma.files.wordpress.com/

 In my own experience, a friend of mine was killed in a car accident just a week before we graduated. I've had students of mine lose sisters, brothers, parents, and family pets. And not just deaths have a devastating effect; I've also advised students that got life-altering news like having cancer or lupus.

I don't mean to dwell on the negative, but when tragedies like these creep up on you it is so very important to take the time to grieve your loss. Our friends over at College Thrive wrote about dealing with grief as a college student earlier this week, so check it out.

And in the words of Jerry Springer, "Take care of yourselves and each other."

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Do I have a right to get an extension?

A reader writes:

"I have a 10 page paper due for my composition class this Friday. I planned to work on it over Thanksgiving and the weekend, but my grandfather passed away this morning. My family knew he had a few days to live, so all week I have not been able to focus on writing my paper. 

Because my grandfather passed away, do I have a right to ask my professor if I can have a day or two of extended time to hand in my paper? Or will I not have any rights in asking that?"

I'm sorry that you lost your grandfather. I know it is difficult losing someone in your family.

Now, do you have a right to an extension? As a first generation or low income college student, it is important to know your rights and responsibilities as a college student. In this case, it will probably depend on the individual professor as well as the rules and regulations at your school. Chances are you can absolutely ask for an extension, but it is totally up to the professor whether or not you are granted an extension.

But if you don't ask, you won't get it. There is no harm in asking for an extension, you probably just don't have an express right to be given one. So be prepared not to be given an extension and take the consequences of that like an adult.

Also, if you are having an understandably difficult time concentrating after the death of a loved one, I would suggest visiting the counseling center at your college. This has two main advantages. One, you can get some support to help you grieve this loss. Two, It can help your case when asking for that extension.

One more caution, be aware that having a grandparent die is one of the most common lies that college students tell professors when asking for an extension. It boils down to being prepared to prove you did in fact lose a grandparent. Harsh, but sometimes required because of all the liars and cheaters that came before you. Good luck.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

You deserve to be here

It looks like I've been an on a self-esteem boosting mission lately... And I guess I just can't stop yet. One thing related to positive self-esteem is reducing self-doubt... Self-doubt sucks and makes you feel like you suck.

Photo credit: http://brucemctague.com/

Unfortunately, self-doubt is common among first generation and low income college students when they get to thinking that maybe, just maybe, they don't belong in college or somehow they don't deserve to be in college student.

But don't doubt yourself! Just because you might be dealing with academic difficulty, feeling pressure from your family to succeed, or something else, never, ever, EVER doubt that you absolutely deserve to be in college.

So, this is just another reminder of just how awesome you are. And don't you doubt that!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

More ways to boost your self-esteem

After yesterday's rousing post on 3 quick ways to boost your self-esteem, I thought about a few more ways to help make you feel like the awesome person you are as a first generation or low income college student...

Photo credit: http://www.valenciaray.com/

Here are a few more self-esteem boosters that I used as a student:

Just smile. You might not always feel like smiling, but just the act of smiling will make you feel better. Try it in the mirror and notice how your face lights up when you smile. When you look at other people, flash them a smile and feel their positive vibes come back to you.

Look good. Take the time to really put yourself together. Take a long shower, wear your favorite outfit that you look great in, style your hair, or whatever you need to do to gussy yourself up. When you look good, you feel good. (This is a great boost especially for midterm days)

Walk tall. When you're out and about, strut your stuff by standing up straight, walking with your shoulders back and head up. This is the walk of a confident person and people will respond to you as such.

Just like I said yesterday, you are awesome. And don't you forget it!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Boosting your self-esteem

Sometimes the pressures of college for can make you doubt how awesome you are, and this can take its toll on your self-esteem as a first generation or low income college student.

When you feel good about yourself, you tend to be more productive, accomplish your goals, do well academically, and have happier relationships. Having a positive self-image and high self-esteem are vital to your success in college.

Photo credit: http://4.bp.blogspot.com

With all the good stuff that comes with feeling good about yourself, here are 3 quick tips to help you boost your self-esteem in a hurry: 

Walk down memory lane. Think about a time when you felt great about yourself and what was going on at that time. Try to recreate some of it to relive those good feelings. 

Talk to yourself. Instead of being your own worst enemy, practice positive self-talk. Tell yourself that you are awesome and affirm all the things you like about yourself.

Get relaxed. Put aside some time to deal with your stress and focus on chilling out. Its easier to focus on staying positive and feeling good about yourself when you are not stressed out.

Remember, you are awesome. I hope these tips help you remember that!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Dealing with stress

Do you find yourself suffering from memory slips, tense muscles, feeling tired, headaches, or trouble sleeping? These are just a few minor symptoms of stress, and let’s face it: college can be stressful, especially for first generation or low income college students.

The many stresses of college can influence your academic performance, social lives, and personal relationships. So, how do you deal with stress? Here are 8 tips to help you deal with stress:

Get to the source. Most people deal with the symptoms of stress and not the source. Ask yourself why you are having an emotional reaction. Once the source is identified, you can eliminate, bypass, or alter the stressor.

Practice energy conservation. Do what you can and don’t worry about the rest. Don’t do someone else’s work unless asked for assistance. Learn to work smarter, not harder. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Unfinished tasks are very stressful. Set reasonable goals.

Reward yourself. Do an easy task if you need a stroke of achievement. Allow yourself a small reward for a job well done. Being motivated is less stressful than depending on someone else for positive strokes.

Have a support base. Find someone with whom you can mutually share thoughts and feelings. Talk is good medicine for stress.

Develop a winner's attitude. Be positive about yourself and your choices. If something turns you sour, think about it and accept the results. Positive thoughts are not destructive to your mind and body. Negative thoughts promote illness.

Practice good time management. There are only 24 hours in a day—no more, no less. Work smarter, not longer.

Take care of yourself. Eat properly, exercise, and get enough sleep. You cannot cope with stress if you are unhealthy.

Learn to relax. Set aside special time each day just to relax. Whether it be 5 minutes or a few hours—try to relax!

For some easy-to-do ideas about ways to reduce stress, check out 50 ways to reduce stress in 5 minutes or less from our friend over at the Emotion Machine.

Remember, stress can take its toll in many areas of your life—and learning to deal with stress effectively promotes physical and psychological health and improves academic performance.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Feeling SAD?

Now that November is here, the colder weather, rainy days, and absence of sunlight is here, too. If you think the weather sucks like many first generation or low income college students do, you might lack the motivation to tackle everyday activities. Midterms, papers, and even just going to class can seem unbearable.

Photo credit: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/

If this sounds like you and the winter weather has you feeling down in the dumps, it could be more than just feeling a little under the weather. It could be Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. I've dealt with a few students that didn't even know this was why they hated winter...

SAD, also called winter depression or seasonal depression, is a form of depression that comes about as the seasons change, probably related to the amount of available daylight (or lack thereof). About six percent of people in the US suffer from SAD, with another 10 to 20 percent experiencing a milder form of seasonal depression.

Symptoms of SAD include trouble sleeping, changes in eating habits, lack of energy, irritability, a lack of interest in activities that were previously enjoyable, unexplained physical aches and pains, and ongoing feelings of guilt and hopelessness. You know it's SAD when these symptoms occur to such a degree that they mess with your everyday life.

For people with SAD, these symptoms typically begin around age 20 and usually return every year around the same time. It is also more common in women than in men and usually affects people in the fall and winter. Folks with SAD tend to feel better during the spring and summer.

If you think you or someone you know might have SAD, please, please, please seek out help. Your campus might have resources or you may find them out in your community. Where ever they are, just use your resources so that you can feel above the weather instead of under it. Bundle up and feel better!

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Dealing with socioeconomic class differences

After yesterday's rousing post on a fight I had with an ex, also known as a conflict over socioeconomic class differences, let's talk about what to do if your end up in a similar situation.

Photo credit: http://drivenleaders.com

Okay, so you probably won't fight with a partner about the SATs, but chances are that as a first generation or low income college student you will face some sort of adversity based on socioeconomic status... If you find yourself in a conflict over socioeconomic class differences, here are 5 tips to manage the conflict:

Take a step back. Instead of assuming the worst, think about your own preconceptions and perceptions about socioeconomic class differences. Don't assume that your way of thinking is the correct way or that there is only one way to think about it.

Keep your cool. Although it can feel like a personal attack on you, your family, and community, don't take it personally. Try to stay objective and keep your feelings out of it. And no name calling.

Listen with openness. As you talk through the conflict, stop thinking about your counter-argument and actually listen. Just because you think you disagree doesn't mean that you actually disagree.

Look for common ground. Try to think about it from another perspective and see if there is something you can empathize with. Think of it as an opportunity to improve your own understanding and self-knowledge.

Make peace with it. A conflict over socioeconomic class differences isn't going to be solved in one conversation. Think about next steps and work together to agree on something, even if that is to agree to disagree.

Yeah, there is no magic solution to making conflicts over socioeconomic class differences go away. But these tips can help you manage those types of conflicts.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Suicide is a serious issue

This made my jaw drop, so I imagine it should make your jaw drop, too, and rightfully so:

"Suicide is a serious issue on college campuses. According to the American College Health Association, suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students. More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than all medical illnesses combined. Experts say the suicide rate peaks among young adults ages 20-24."  From http://www.king5.com/

With the recent well-publicized suicides of several college students, especially among lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered students, I though it was important to address this issue. Suicide is a serious issue.

Thankfully, I have never had to deal with suicide with my students. However, for first generation and low income college students, feelings of isolation, self-doubt, and fear of failure--among other common negative feelings--can be risk factors for suicide. If you or someone you know has thought about suicide, check out this Help Guide for more information

Here are some national suicide prevention resources:

• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
• Suicide Prevention Resource Center
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 

In addition to these resources, most college campuses will have some sort of mental health resources and student crisis response team. Remember, asking for help does not mean you are crazy. It means you have the strength to reach out when you recognize you need the support. In the great words of Jerry Springer, "Take care of yourself, and each other."

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

You are not crazy if...

...you go to a counselor, psychologist, or other professional to help you deal with things in your life. Repeat, you are not crazy!

For first generation and low income college students--as well as for students of color--there tends to be a negative stigma about seeing a mental health professional. I think this comes from assumptions in our communities like counseling is only for the weak or therapy is for rich people. But, don't buy into this hype!

Photo credit: www.gold.ac.uk

Personally, I've found professional counseling to be very, very helpful on more than one occasion in my life. And I'm not crazy. In fact, I think the sanest thing you can do is to admit that you need some extra support and it shows strength--not weakness--to seek that out. On top of that, counseling or therapy has the advantage of being somewhat removed from your life, enough to offer an unbiased and objective outlet for you to express yourself and work through things.

Our friend Steven over at The Emotion Machine wrote about the social stigma of getting help and makes some great points about not feeling ashamed about it. I think he said it best:

"Seeking extra advice from experts, through counseling or coaching, should be seen as a legitimate form of improving our quality of life... there is always room for improvement, and seeking improvement should never be something we are ashamed of."

So, show your strength by seeking improvement because you are not crazy.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.