How do I stop feeling stressed and homesick?

A reader writes:

"I have just moved to a new town. It is not far away from were i used to live, but all my extended family live there. Sometimes at night i just want to be back their with all my cousins and my Grandparents and everyone. Starting a new school is so hard, and it makes it worse that this is my first time moving schools. Now, at a different school i feel more stressed than ever with: finding new friends, fitting in school work, doing tests and just fitting in with a new and much bigger school!! how do i stop feeling stressed and homesick?"

You are dealing with issues plenty of first generation and low income college students face. In fact, these are both issues we've talked about before, so check out these older posts for some guidance:

How can I stop feeling homesick?
Dealing with stress

Also, it sounds like your homesickness and stress are feeding off of each other, like when you feel more homesick you also feel more stressed out and vise versa. Try to think of them as two different issues, that you will address in different ways. Eventually, as one lessens, the other will too.

You can also try thinking about the ways you would relive stress when you were at home with your family and see if you can incorporate some of those things into your school life away from your family. For example, if you used to play sports with your cousins to relieve stress, try joining an intramural or informal sports team on campus.

You should also to talk to your family about your homesickness and making a transition to a new school. Getting your family on board and making sure they understand what you are going through will help ease the transition. And don't forget to ask them about their transition with you away from home too!

I hope you can feel better and less stressed away from home. Take care.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

4 ways to bridge family and campus life

first generation and low income college students are more likely to have a family, so balancing family life with college life can be tricky sometimes. One was to help with this balance is to involve your family in campus life when it makes sense.

Yeah, I don't have kids yet, but I've worked with enough student-parents to know that these suggestions work. So, here are 4 ways for bridging the gap between family life and campus life:

Introduce them to campus. Arrange a campus tour for your family, usually through admissions or visitors' center. If a pre-arranged tour is not an option, do it yourself. Bonus points if you can talk and walk backwards at the same time.

Plan a picnic. Bring your family on to campus and eat a meal. If your campus has a center or quad area, the heart of campus is a great place to host a bite. If you kids are old enough to make a meal, let them plan the menu.

Photo credit: http://www.elcivics.com

Read a book. You are doing a lot of reading, and hopefully you are encouraging your family to read as well. Bring your family to the campus library and check out a book or two for them. Talk to the librarians to see where appropriate books for your kids are or if there are other age-appropriate resources around.

Make a play date. Although a lot of campuses are not set up for playing, taking your family to campus to play can be a great outing, especially with younger kids. This is also an opportunity to be creative and get your kids' imaginations going. If you campus has a craft or activity center, bring your kids there for some arts and crafts time.

It also might be a good idea about to talk to your family about what you are experiencing as a college student. Anyhow, I hope you have a fun time with your family on campus.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Get your family on board

For first generation and low income college students, families may play a big role in students' success. However, families don't always know how to play that supporting role. It may fall on you as a student to work with your family to help them learn about that role.

Photo credit: www.themoderndaypirates.com

If you are a first generation college student, your family doesn't have the personal experience to help you with college that same way someone with a family history of college-going would have. If you are a low income college student, your family might not understand the actual costs of college, budgeting for a college student, and the financial aid process.

So, what can you do about it? You can talk about it with your family.

Tell them what your daily schedule is like, how many classes you are expected to take, what financial aid paper work you have to fill out and when it is due. (And if you don't know this stuff, talk to an advisor at your campus!) Tell them as much as you can to paint a picture of the college experience. Ask them about how your college experience is affecting them. Encourage them to ask you questions rather than make assumptions and agree to do the same.

These conversations won't always be easy--and depending on your family might be quite challenging--but you have to have them. And notice I said "conversations" with an emphasis on the plural "s," because keeping the lines of communications open is key to managing family expectations and getting their support.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.