How to deal with professors who hate you, part II

After reading the previous post "How to deal with professors who hate you," a reader writes:

"How do you handle the situation of being cornered in a room with the professor, then they begin yelling and screaming at you? In my case she continues to make me cry, and talking doesn’t seem to help. I have talked many time with this professor only to think the problem is solved. When returning to class again she does the same things, always singling me out. There seems to be no end to whatever this professor's problem is. I refuse to quit and I have only one semester to go before I graduate, so it is either try and make amends or have a nervous breakdown, which is not a option. I willing to try anything at this point."

Wow. I am so sorry to hear you are in this situation--a situation no student should ever be put in. What your professor is doing is totally inappropriate on so many different levels and nothing should excuse such behavior. This professor has also forfeited the right to "make amends" and I feel that you need to escalate this situation by reporting the professor.

Because this is an extreme case, you must, repeat MUST, do these things immediately to protect yourself:

First off, if you feel you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, please get help to deal with those feelings as soon as possible. Try to reduce any stress in your life. Look for both on- and off-campus resources.

Next, avoid this professor as best you can. If you absolutely have to interact with the professor, do not go alone. Bring a friend with you.

You must absolutely tell someone, like a trusted advisor, a higher-ranking faculty member, or someone in the dean's office. As I've said before, sharing your side of the story is a good way to protect yourself. When you tell that someone, make sure you discuss what you have done to try to remedy the situation and that it has been an ongoing problem. Be specific about the ways the professor makes you uncomfortable.

Definitely figure out what your rights and responsibilities are concerning professor conduct and what your next steps should be. Find out if there is a formal complaint process, a student advocate, review board, or ombudsman at your campus. Then you should engage that process and make it official.

Consider talking to your classmates about this too. Chances are that a professor who behaves so inappropriately with one student also behaves poorly with other students. It even sounds like this may be happening openly in the classroom, in full view of other students. If that is the case, I bet other students feel really uncomfortable with this professor too. There can be power in numbers if multiple students are joining your grievance. It also helps to have a support network in place to help you along in this process.

If you are not comfortable taking this most extreme step, honestly, I can't see any other viable option. As you've mentioned, talking to this professor doesn't work, which is what necessitates this extreme step in my opinion.

Again, I'm really sorry to hear about this. I really hope this works out for you! You should never have been placed in this situation in the first place.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

College graduation rates: Income really matters

"We've got a problem in that we get low-income kids to college, but they don't persist to graduation," Smeeding said. "It's harder for them to find their way through. They get discouraged and they drop out."

This quote comes from a recent article in CNN Money called College graduation rates: Income really matters.

Although parts of the article may seem bleak for first generation and low income college students, I think it is a worthy read. I encourage you to check it out and discuss what the article has to say.

Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.

Appropriate study group etiquette, part II

In my previous post about appropriate study group etiquette, I misinterpreted the question. I'm so sorry that I jumped to conclusions, but thank you to the original question-asker for following up with me again. A reader writes:

"My initiative was to get the study group going, at first with my questions in the beginning, but none have answered so far. And if group members do not wish to propose a fresh question, than I  may have to keep the group going by adding more questions to start discussing.

If the study group can propose questions and keep the discussion going, I will be glad if that is the case. But none of them do work, like they are waiting for questions. I would like to confirm that it is advisable to give them all my questions then."

Yes, if other students are not actively participating in the study group, it is okay to try to keep the conversation going by asking more questions of your own. However, it really sounds like your study group is not working like a study group... and I think it's because there is a lack of expectations.

I hope I'm not jumping to conclusions again, but when you are starting a study group, it is really, really important that everyone in the group be on the same page in terms of expectations.

Normally, I would suggest that a new study group start out by meeting and agreeing on how often the group will meet, how the group should function, and what roles--like leader, organizer, moderator, and notetaker--people want to take on. This conversation should also involve talking about expectations, accountability, and commitment to the study group.

But it sounds like that hasn't happened. In fact, it sounds like your only contact with the other students in your "study group" has been done via email. If that is the case, it would be appropriate to email them all and let them know why you started the study group and your expectations for the group. You also want to remind them of your question and prompt them to action by asking for their response.

Your email might say something like, "I emailed you to start a study group as a way to discuss the assignments with other students and share input and perspective on assignments. I would really like it if everyone could propose questions and keep the discussion going. My question is X? I want to know what you think about that or if you have any questions about it, so please email me back and keep the discussion going. Thank you!"

Then wait for replies. Hopefully this will get the other students to be more active in your study group because you are being clear about what you want and what you expect of them. Also, in the meantime while you are waiting for replies, you might want to go to office hours and ask the professor your questions.

If no one replies, consider reaching out to a different group of students, but I really do hope your study group works out.


Got questions? Please feel free to ask The Advisor about it.